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Professor green and a cheeky few drinks after with my babes. Love you all...if i could i'd put you all in my suitcase xxxxx

I leave to go Bulgaria in 12 days. I'm going through so many mixed up emotions. A mix of pure excitement, i'll be reunited with my second family, and i'll be back to the simple life full of beautiful people. On the other hand i'm very nervous and apprehensive. I think going alone is really going to hit me hard...although i won't be alone, i'll have at least 4 other people flying with me, to me...i don't have the person i started it all with me. Killer...at the same time, i'm excited to see how i cope, to show people i can do it, and i think i just have to put all those silly worries behind me. BRING IT ON.
So...i've got just 1 week left at work, which is also very exciting. I'm looking forward to leaving drinks with some of my lovely schuh people and also my family, which i'll miss stupidly.
For now..i have a big long list of things to do and buy...so i best get on with it. xx

'When you learn to accept instead of expect, you'll have fewer dissapointments' - So true! Expecting more often than not always leads to dissapointment. If you're not expecting, then anything is a bonus, and you get along and accept the given situation alot better than if you were let down; with the wondering 'what if'. This way there's no 'what if's' and you just get on with it. It makes sense to me, i don't know whether i've got my opinion across very clearly, maybe not!

rip tree!

As you all have probably noticed (or not) i've not updated this in a while. I don't know why, but my heart doesn't seem in it. I think that, because quite a few people read it, i'm finding it hard to open up as much as i used to. I'm scared too hurt someone, or say something wrong and i hate having to think about that. The whole purpose of this was to be creative, to blog my thoughts and feelings, and as gay as it sounds it was sort of like a diary for me. Certainly; reading back through my old posts it feels that way and it's a shame that i've not updated in so long, because i feel like i've done, and been through a lot these past weeks.
At the minute not alot matters other than a few things that are taking priority. Don't get mad, or pissed off if i won't come out for drinks or for a night out, i'm saving harder than ever and don't get me wrong it's stupidly difficult. Everyone complains at me for it, and i know it's only 20 quid, but it's 20 quid i need towards my future. Some people save up for a night out at the end of the month, some people save up for a pair of shoes, a car, a house deposit. I'm saving up to make sure i have money to buy a couple of air tickets when the time comes. I don't so much mind not going out, i like spending time with my family, especially as soon enough i won't have them with me for a good half a year. I'm pretty much happy at work now, i know i haven't got long left and it's making the days seem easier and i'm able to go work and actually smile for once. (It's been a long time) Happy days. I've always said it, the key to being happy (for me) is too have something to look forward too. People with nothing to aspire too are not worth my time, what's the point in life if you have no plans to live it?
Not alot matters at the minute other than working, saving, not spending (trying!), planning, and my beautiful and wonderful nan, who's fight officially starts today.
Think pink. Love you all you lovely lot, sorry i've been away. x