missing you.

I guess i have to write this now, otherwise there will be no time. I could probably do it tomorrow but i'm sort of in one of them moods where i just want to write. So, tomorrow is my last day at home for a good while, and as excited as i am (alot) i can't help but think that there are a few certain things and people that i'm going to miss. It's not like i'm only going for a few weeks, 6 months at the most is a rather long time, it's half a year and although i'm gunna be living in an almost perfect world for the summer, i guess there's gunna be days where i get stupidly home sick and just want to jump on a plane to come and see my mum.
It's gunna be weird not having my rents around. Sometimes i suppose i take them for granted for how much they do. Especially my mum, and not having her around is gunna be strange at first. I think the longest i've gone not seeing her must be about 2 weeks, so this is sort of throwing me in the deep end abit. I've tried to spend as much time as possible with my mum and dad this past week. I know that it will be hard for my mum, secretly she's dreading when i go, and she's been trying so hard to be happy for me. I guess with my brother gone, and now me, this will really hit hard that we're both really grown up. Not that i'd know but i can imagine this feeling a hard one for any mother. In my mum's eyes we're both still her babies. It's gunna be weird not having someone to look after me. I know that sounds selfish but my mum really has done alot for me, and i've took it for granted alot of the time. Cooking for me, washing and ironing my clothes mainly. Without a doubt i'll miss my parents alot. I spend alot of my time with them so of course it's gunna be weird not seeing their faces everyday. I just know that all they care about is that i'm safe, so safe is what i shall be. For them, and for myself.
I'll miss my brother, and Fran, i'll miss my nan, my grandad, grandma and other grandad. I'll miss my aunty Lynne too. I'll miss my cousin, Boss Vee. I'll miss Ree, and her little tweets at me about Pip, I'll miss Becca. I'm gunna have a job writing all these bloody post cards haha!
I'll miss my bestest cousin Hannah, but knowing she's having equally the same amount of fun makes it a whole lot better some how. She's going back to Zante, where she spent the best months of her life at a few years ago. At least when we're both back we can have the biggest catch up, and both be nice and sun kissed! it's worked out well for us both, but the only annoying thing is that i won't get to go visit and vice versa! At least i'll know she's having fun though.
Jackie, baby i'll miss you alot. I'll miss spending the summer with you, hanging out on parks, walking for miles, making tapas and taking photos. I know that Sunny Beach won't be the same without you. I'll give Andy a kiss from you, even if he's smoking, and if i see Matt Sage i'll tell him off for lying. I'll buy a rose in memory of you, and smack fit guys bums shouting hit the showers for you. I love you lots, and i know that you're reading so i hope you enjoy this! I can't wait to read your letters, they are all ready and packed :)
Lucyyyy, why are you not coming with me, i need someone to dance the we no speak americano dance, i need someone to talk to me in a really really high pitched way and to lounge about the apartment in pants eating toast with. I'll miss your snuggles, and please please come and see me, you and Jackie. It would be a highlight of my whole time away. I love you lots.
I'll miss my bed, i'll miss my bedroom, i'll miss a certain handful from work, Tleaf; mine and Sherri's baby. Lynn, Kpez, Chris, Clown, Cara. I'll miss Cortez and Rushina too. I'll miss eastenders, and i'll miss new, updated music and films. I'll miss random chats with my mum about work, and how every night my dad brings us both a cup of tea. I'll miss my dads banter, my nans weekly visits, my brother dropping in, Propaganda, English tea and bread, and i'll miss using twitter and blogging.
I'm gunna miss so much stuff while i'm out there, but 100% without a doubt the thing i'll miss most is my dog. I know to most of you that probably sounds so stupid, but he's literally like a mate! I get up in the morning, and he's waiting outside my bedroom door, i have a shower and he's in the bathroom with me, i go downstairs he follows me down, i talk to him, i fuss him, i throw a ball for him, i go to work, i get home and he's so excited as if i've been away for days, he sleeps on my bed, he loves me unconditionally. I know i probably sound like one of these crazy animal lovers. But i'll miss him more than anything. What if he forgets me or something happens! I literally hate to think about it. He's my baby and i wish he was coming with me? I'm dreading saying bye.
So, after that lot.. I guess that's it from me. I'll most likely blog tomorrow with some crazy excited post or something. I probably sound quite upset on this post, but honestly and truthfully i'm more excited than i can put in words. I get to spend the while summer with the bestest friend ever, like honestly she's like half of me and i wouldn't want it any other way. It's so daunting thinking that tomorrow is my last day here, and i can't bloody wait for Sunday morning. This is all i've thought about for the past 9 months (literally), and if you check back over my blog you can see that i've actually been counting down haha. Some might say we're abit mental going out there and not really knowing what to expect, as long as we have each other though, i think we'll be fine :)

Elvis Love

water for elephants

Amazing film, beautifully shot, beautiful animals, beautiful storyline, beautiful ending and beautiful people. I cried buckets!

♥

One day i'll have songs like this playing all day in my little flat, or shop, and when i get taken out by a lovely gentleman in the evening where we can dance and drink and smoke. Sometimes i'm in my own little world where i imagine i'm living in the 50's. I wish i was.

Bank Holiday

Lovely lovely ♥

Another week down and one to go until i'm out of here. This week has been lovely. It's been spent with some of my favourite people and i wouldn't of had it any other way. Wednesday i went to see Dancing On Ice with my mum, nan, nans sister; Jenny, Lydianne, and Melissa. It was a very funny day and was lovely to spend some time with them before i go. Dancing On Ice was pretty amazing too, as always and i got just abit starstuck when Vanilla Ice rapped pretty much in front of me. Nearly died. The next day me and mum had a lie in and headed into town to do some last minute shopping and had our feet nibbled by fishes!! It was probably one of the weirdest things i've ever done, and i'm stupidly ticklish on my feet which made it worst. The good thing is, my feet are alot smoother and i managed to make a mate who worked there who just so happens to be going Bulgaria in May. No doubt i'll bump into her and think we're best mates when drunk or something.
Friday was the day of the royal wedding and i was pretty much glued to the tv all day! I didn't think i was that bothered about it all, but when i got up in the morning i was sat on the sofa in my pjs al day watching their every move! It was a proud day to be British and i think that the whole thing was so beautiful. People that moaned about it, can get lost because in my opinion that day was history in the making. I started getting ready for 'our' big night really early because i just couldn't wait, and Jackie later appeared to get ready with me. I don't know why but i was slightly nervous along with very excited for our leaving do. I had a feeling it was all going to get very emotional and i was right! It was an amazing night, and everybody showed up apart from a couple which was nice. It was just lovely to have everyone i love and everyone i'm going to miss in one big room, sharing a dance together and drinking until the sun came up. Apart from not having most my family there, it was pretty perfect, and if i could i'd want to do it all again.
Rents got home from being away at the peak district earlier, and since then me and mum have re packed all my case properly and wedding planned abit with Fran. Must admit it gets me very excited wondering what thier big day will be like after watching the whole of Kate and Wills! haha.
So now all my main shopping has been done there is literally only a couple of major jobs that need to be done. I'm heading into town tomorrow to transfer all my money over into my main account from my savings, sort my nose piercing out, and get my hair cut. Looking forward to having something abit different for summer and seeing the lovely Jess. I need to still sort a camera, find a memory card and finish packing the last few bits into my case. It's that awkward time when you can't wear anything nice for the last few days as it all needs to be washed and packed away! Hello wearing complete rubbish this week.
I said i'd try and update this as much as possible for Jackie as i know she reads it all the time ;) so look out for other posts this week! Bare with me people! xx