WHATS A PLAN WITHOUT A PLAN B?

really really really liking Plan B at the minute, he may have gone mainstream and all poppy on us, but still catchy and heard him in the live lounge this morning and i was fixed!!!

ola

Hello there, It's Wednesday morning and i've just woken up, must have slept funny last night also as my neck and back are bloody killing! Had some right weird dreams also. I won't go into them, might slightly freak you all out. Not really been doing alot recently. Had a nice weekend, had it off work which was nice, but i felt i was missing out on something at work. Still popped in Saturday to see the crew. Decided you're shit and never want to see you again, if you even know you even read this because i told you about it enough times you would know this but i know 100% you won't read it so i can say what i want. You shouldn't have been how you were, you should back off. Saturday made me realise this, thats all. Went out with the schuh lot Saturday, which was lovely as Becca met up with us too, ended up in Mosh which surprised me! Was nice to see Marc, and bumping into Cortez made my nighttt :) Got told that Becca pushes my buttons and that she controls me? Don't know what thats all about but shes my friend, we tend to spend alot of time together and be very close in general, have you never seen two people like this before? We must be something special. Also, saw Will-i-am in mosh, and Lynn you waster, i'll leave it at that. Felt abit hungover Sunday so therefore didn't really do much. Went out that night though, couldn't resist with Jackie being back and drinks a pound anyone? Calum gave me a lift in which got me there just in time, any later and i would have been queing on my own right at the back! It was so busy, could hardly move and getting drinks made us just not bother sometimes. Saw Jamie and Laura which was lovely, not seen them since before they went Aus. Glad i finally got things cleared up with Laura, and we're all okay now. I could have hugged the life out of Jamie though, refrained as didn't think it would be appropiate. Pissed me off how big headed some people were being about drugs. It's not cool, and i will leave that matter. Ended up being just me and Jackie by the end of it, Becca had gone home, as she wasn't feeling it, and Charlotte and Izzy had dissapeared to somewhere. Loved how both of us we're bloody loving it! Met loads of mates, didn't pull, but obviously the mates we're more comedy value! Got home, about half 3 and slept until i had to get up for half 8 the next day for work! Grim! Surprisingly okay though, 2 energy drinks got me through even though i was convinced they were filtering something through the vents and sending us all wappy. Turns out we had all been drinking high quantities of caffiene. All fun though, bouncing of the walls.
So that was my weekend, nothing special but a pretty decent one. Nice to have Jackie back! Nothing much planned this week, seeing Jackie Thursday , and Cortez in the evening for a film. Other than that , it's all work work work. Moneys alright i suppose. Thats all for today! x

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/authenticloveok

i need to know if you like cheese?

i love it more than any other food.

Ask me anything

do you love me

yeah ! course!

Ask me anything

Hi

it makes it hard to write a decent blog when i've blogged in the week with such detail, feels like i've said all there is to say so this is abit pointless. I'll give it a shot anyway. Wouldn't like to let any of my faithful readers go without on this Sunday night (I have no faithful readers). This week has been a really good one for me. If you were to ask why i couldn't possibly give you a reason. Although i've been at work everyday putting in all day shifts again, i've felt happy to be there. The early mornings are also getting easier and i'm not falling sleep on the bus. If i ever leave schuh, the thing i'll miss most is the handful of people that get me through the day. The banter in the stockroom is brilliant and if i ever did get another job i'd hope everyone would stay in touch. But thats enough about how much i love schuh, i'm sure you're all sick of hearing about it, right? Today was bloody lovely. A brisk walk this morning with the family and the dogs was enjoyable. Sometimes a bit of fresh air can set you up for the rest of the day. After that i was in a spring mood and decided to clean my room. It's looking pretty good but i'm sure it won't last much longer.

It was nice going to visit Cortez at work the other day, there's always something to talk about with him and i miss him serious amounts at work. Starbucks with you soon my dear.
This week won't really bring much excitement! I've found a new way to enjoy each day more. It's pretty simple but when i wake up i think about what i've got to look forward too. Last week i was struggling but i made it through and found myself rather happy each day. This week may not bring excitement but i have plenty of little things lined up. Tomorrow i finish work at 1, so sometime after that i will be seeing Becca! Not seen her all weekend due too lack of money so that should be good. Cinema wednesday with Hannah, paid thursday ...seeing Joe, Town to blow it all on clothes , then bam its the weekend. Roll on some sort of night out with the work lot.

Thats this weeks update anyway, i'll probably blog at some point this week.
Don't forget to check my others though, http://anauthenticproduct.tumblr.com/ and http://blackandwhiteloveplease.tumblr.com/ . xxx

need this ring

i understand it's sad

but i why do i always get so attatched to characters in teen dramas such as skins and misfits?!

NEXT THING WE'RE TOUCHING.

Summer is on it's way and i'm finding it a whole lot easier waking up in the morning to face a long day at work due to the light and fresh morning sky shining through my curtains. I don't know if just i do this, but i like to keep my curtains slightly open so i can experience this in the morning. It makes me just that bit happier knowing it's sunny. I'm very much looking forward to the summer, hoping to stay at schuh for as long as i need and then if all goes well i'll be off to university. A bit of a daunting prospect and at the minute it feels like there is no way on earth it will happen, but believe me, i want this more than anything and i will make it happen. If not it's time for plan B. 'Whats a plan without a plan B?'. Work seems to be dragging alot at the minute, i realise i've probably moaned about this before but i just hate how everyone is leaving. Before work these days i just don't look forward to it as much, i don't check the rotor anymore and check whos working when i am and this is the reason i decided going against taking the full time job. I honestly don't need the money, and i'd rather just have a whole lot of fun working part time and seeing people before i move cities in September.
Got quite a few things to look forward too, A trip to London with mother, cousin and aunty which should be amazing. I think we're going to see Billy Elliot ! Brilliant. I'm scared i won't want to come back though, as this always happen when i get out of Leicester for more than a day. - Going Leeds to visit family friends for a big posh do, black tie dress code and everything. Looking forward to getting a new dress and getting pampered for that one! An excuse for new shoes i feel too? Visiting Jackie soon, going to see example while we're there, and theres a few of us going too which will be a right squeeze on the floor but epic laughs! - A holiday with the girls, something last minute and to somewhere hot! I need a tan, i need the sea air, i need the constant heat and the new people, the cocktails, the beach, the nights out. Lovely. Someone just make me save up for it now?! I'm possibly the worst saver known to man. As soon as i have money it burns a whole straight through my pocket and before i get paid i've more or less planned out what i'm buying. This month when i get paid i plan to buy some sort of bag, i've seen quite a few i've got my eye on, (one being 60 quid-oops) a pair of jeans as i do not own any and as much as i hate wearing them, i quite like some of the new styles that are all in at the minute and i'm willing to try it out, some new vans from work, and maybe a haircut (I'm never happy with my hair) . I'm running pretty low on make up too, why is it all your make up runs out all at once and you left borrowing your mums or scraping the bottom of the bottle for more foundation!? Maybe thats just me! - more money going on a messy night out next weekend i'm feeling too, Jamie is back from Aus and we need to give him a proper send off for leaving schuh. Will try and round a few people up, maybe give Dan a text see if he can get off work or whatever. Will be good to get everyone together.
Currently waiting for the flipping gym that i've signed upto to open! Starting to wonder if i've just signed my life away and they have all my bank details just waiting to be leaked onto the world wide web but oh well, i'll go with it. Annoying because i wouldn't mind shaping up abit for the summer! (I know this won't happen but it sounds good right?) So hurry up and open Highcross Gym! I don't even know anyone else that has signed up to this, maybe i'm the only one getting scammed, the real hustle style anyone?!
I wish writing my personal statement was as easy as writing a blog!!

wednesday lovexxxx

♥

In need of some serious motivation.

In need of some sun, sand and sea?

Bring on Summer, i hope everything i want for after summer happens for me, if it doesn't i'm a bit stuck.

What festivals to think about also? Summer Sundae for Leicester times, Reading/Leeds?... Global Gathering with my brother or Creamfields maybe? Decisions Decisions.

I just wanna dance in the sun wearing sunglasses and body paint, with a genuine smile on my face.

ignore the spelling mistakes in the last post .

Brilliant.

"....And then he asked her to DTR" Cue appalled gasps rippling around the bar like dominoes. I shook my head in mock-horror, Oscar-winningly pretending i knew what on earth this friend-of-a-friend was talking about. I think i even added, "How dare he ask her that?" for good measure, while frantically racking my brains to work out what the hell a DTR was. A new STI? A questionable sex act? A method to calculate weight? Either way, he really shouldn't have asked her because within an hour of the DTR conversation, the couple in question had split up.
DTR, i now realise, means Define The Relationshop. So what he was trying to say in an 'oops i swallowed a self-help book' kinda was was, can i call you my girlfriend yet? It's what a US teenager might call 'exclusivity' and what your gran might refer to as 'going steady'. Yes, he should save his acronyms for cyberspace (tell him a joke and he'd probably shout "LOL!" in your face) but , the truth is, it's a conversation happening between couples everywhere -in the car, in the kitchen, in the bedroom, in the taxi queue at 3am. And ladies, i urge you to avoid it at all costs.
In my (hardly definitive) experience, talking DTR is the means to a realationship end. Whether it's you or him asking where you're heading, i can tell you the answer: Relationship RIP. Here's what happened to me. I'd been seeing a guy, let's call him Jacob* (sounds cool and sexy, no?), for siz months but i still didn't feel comfortable calling him my boyfriend. I'm not sure why. Maybe it felt more exciting to have a bit of scruff rather than my other half. Maybe i was keeping my options open. Maybe i imagined it eould be easier being dumped by, you know, just some guy i'm seeing by getting ditched by an actual boyfriend (i know, just words but it works for me). So, around out half-year mark, when this-guy-I'm-just-seeing-called-Jacob interrupted a perfectly romantic walk in the park to ask, "So, where are we going?" I reached for his hand and responded with "Dunno, how about the pub, then somewhere to eat noodles?" Turns out, what he really meant was, "We've been sharing our beds and social lives at least twice at week for the past six months, so what's next?" The truth was, I didn't know what was next. And i liked it tht way. I was too busy enjoying every second of getting to know him than to get bogged down with the serious chats. Everyone loves surprises, right? It's why gifts arrive neatly wrapped; it's why we read books from front to back and not vice versa; it's why we stick our fingers in our ears and make'la-la' noises when everyone's discussing The Apprentice that we have yet to watch on sky +. I don't want to know whats going to happen next, i want to wait and see. Turns out Jacob misread my approach as nonchalance and decided he wouldn't hang around to 'wait and see' what the next six months would bring. I didn't blame him. We live in a world of labels. I just didn't want one pinned on us yet. Shame really, because i was finally getting used to the idea of using the B-word.
I understand why it's necessary to ask the offending question. I've asked it myself before. Usually when i'm dating a completely insuitable but irresistable type who i know will only break my heart. It's for reassurance. I have plenty of female friends in long-term relationships who don't necessarily want to get married right now, but they would like to know that he'll put a ring on it one day. But is DTR-ing the only answer? I asked professional relationship mentor Judi James and she told me, "The truth is, women are so busy these days that we don't want to waste precious time investing ourselves, and our emotions, into a relationship that might not go anywhere. It's like working overtime when there's no prospect of future promotion. We're constantly asking ourselves, is this investment going to pay off or do i need to look elsewhere? This is the single most relationship-threatening question to ask your partner because the answer is kill or cure". She's right. Questions like, does my bum look big? and, was your ex better in bed than me? are nothing compared to the killer DTR question.

The big status switch
The problem with D-ing the R is that it puts you, and the said relationship, into a box. Then there's the pressure to live up to that label. Facebook is partly to blame. Whilst you may happily switch your status to ' in a relationship ' during those hrady first months of loved-up bloss, what if it all goes pear-shaped? Switching to 'no longer in a relationship' with the help of a pitiful broken-heart icon for 50 of your friends (and 200 people you met once or twice) to see is wince-indicing. It's like wearing a sandwich-board down your local high street, proclaiming, "Yes, yes i did get dumped!" through a loud speaker. In reality, Facebook should ditch the 'single' or 'in a relationship' options altogether because they don't exist anymore. Like it or nor, we all fall under 'It's complicated'.
Gone are the days when you could tick 'married', 'single' or 'other' on a job application. Our relationships are far more complex than that. What about those who are dating three men at once; sleeping with their ex; have a friend with benefits; shagging a different bloke every Saturday night; single and celibate; in love with a married man; married for three years but attending swinging parties once a month?
Whatever your relationship status, it can's possibly be defined into two categories. And thank goodness for that. As Judi explains, "The biggest problem with asking the DTR question is that you're hoping for the perfect answer. But it's unlikely that you'll get the response you want ("Oh yes, we'll get married, have three gorgeous children and find a country pile to call home"). The problem with having a plan is that it puts unnecessary pressure on both of you to fulfil it. Instead of having 'the chat', look out for defining relationship moments that mean he could be a keeper - going to weddings together, buying joint presents, talking about 'one day', meeting the family, a joint mortgage, hell, even getting a pet together . Then you can concentrate on enjoying a less bumpy ride"
And she's right. When you think back to my most significant long-term relationships, I don't ever remember sitting down to ask. "So, am i your girlfriend now or what?" We just got to the stage where we knew we were on the same page (i.e we were happy with each other and didn't want to sleep with anyone else right then). As soon as we weren't, the relationship defined itself: Over. For me, the mistake with attempting to DTR too early is that you risk killing off something potentially amazing before it's even had chance to develop. Of course, if you're 10 years in and the relationship still feels somewhat lacking definition, it might be time to ask the WTF? question. But that's a whole other conversation.


YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO DTR WHEN...

You've been dating six months and his facebook profile still reads that he's 'in a relationship with Stephanie Green' , but thats not your name.

On your first date he starts a sentence with "When we're married..." gulp.

You're having a snuggly Sunday together when his phone rings and he says into it, " Not much, just hanging out with a mate".

He dumped you six weeks ago but you've just woken up in his bed for the third time this week.

You and your boyfriend of a year bump into his mum in Tesco and she says . " You must be Jennifer." You're not .


- company magazine . March 2010 issue.

Havn't wrote on this in a bit . Currently sat in bed listening to Lily Allen , it's good times . Had a pretty good week overall , worked alot , covered Jamies full time hours monday - friday . Left me feeling slightly dead , and very tired but the money will be happy days . Been 19 for a week and a day now , seems ages ago since my birthday ! Not really had a chance to do much this week due to work but will catch up on all that stuff next week as i've got a couple of days off . Work jsut isn't the same anymore , still love all the people there , but it seems one by one everyones leaving , and i'm not happy with the people that have left . The banter just isn't the same , but oh well , i guess this would be the same anywhere . It just doesn't get me as happy to work there anymore . Today should be good , seeing Joe and going to the vintage fair in town , hopefully get some bargains as i'm pretty much skint once again . Think i went a bit too mental this month with the clothes , i've still got unworn goods in my wardrobe ! That never happens ! Seem to have everything i need in life right now . Was very spoilt for my birthday and i'm gratefull for that . My birthday night out was a good one too , nice to have the brother out ! Even if we did get spilt up for half the night , it was nice to have everyone under one roof for even a bit . Hopefully this week should be good , seeing more of Hannah , probably nip up college to sort things out , see a couple of people and work abit too .
ANYWAY, thats all . I'm rubbish at blogging atm . Apologies xx

It's five o'clock In the morningConversation got boringYou said you'd go Into bed soonSo I snuck off To your bedroomAnd I thought I'd just wait thereUntill I heard you Come up the stairsAnd I pretended I was sleepingAnd I was hoping You would creep inWith meYou put your arm Around my shoulderAnd it was As if the room Got colderAnd we moved closer In togetherStarted talking about The weatherYou said tomorrow Would be fun We could watch A place in the sunI didn't know Where this was goingWhen you kissed meAre you mine? Are you mine?Cause I stay here All the timeWatching tele Drinking wineLet's just sayWho'd a known? When you'd flash up On my phoneI'd no longer Feel alone No longer Feel aloneI haven't left here For days now And I'm becoming Amazed howYou're quite Affectionate in publicin fact your friend Said it made her Feel sickAnd even though It's moving forwardThere's just the right Amount of awkwardAnd yesterday You accidentallyCalled me babyAre you mine? Are you mine?Cause I stay here All the timeWatching tele Drinking wineWho'd a known? Who'd a known?When you'd flash up On my phoneI'd no longer Feel aloneLet's just stay Let's just stayI wanna lie in bed All dayWe'll be laughing All the waytold your friendsThey all knowWe exist But we're Taking it slowNow let's just see How we goNow let's see How we goLet's just stay Let's just stayI wanna lie in bed All daywe'll be laughingAll the wayYou told your friendsThey all knowWe exist But we're Taking it slowAnd let's just see How we goNow let's see How we go