Words can't describe it. All i can say is, go. Just be there this year, and you'll know.
Cacao ♥

Sorry about the rant, i've spent the last couple of days laughing my bum off with people from work, my brother and Aldeacs. My weeks getting better and better, nails done tomorrow, along with calander girls, and seeing Hannah. Good stuff.

I shouldn't be wasting my time and effort on this blog but i'd just like to say, if you're reading this then you've let me down, you've pissed me off, you've done everything that you said you wouldn't and i know i shouldn't care and sometimes act like i don't i can't help but still be pissed off. Especially when after everything i STILL have at least respect for you and message you something nice, only to get no reply. It's not like we even went through much together, which..quite frankly i'm grateful for now, i just would have liked some warning, or an explanation. You're SO not worth me being nice to you now. What's the point if you ignore me anyway? Idiot.

iyah

This weekend i've become a recluse. My best friends been my bed, and my companys been the dog and occasionally my brother. It's been nice though, and as much as i had to put everything into forcing myself not to go out all i wanted to do was go out and play. Felt quite proud of myself for staying in, and my body loves me again after dancing round my living room like a prat to a work out dvd. Lovely lovely. It's all for a good cause though, next weekend is the one!! I can't think about it and not smile!! I've got a good week following up to it actually, nothing to do, and no money up until Thursday..which gives me some time to go gym, some time to sort out what's actually happening on Saturday. Wednesday i've got tickets with all the lovely ladies in my family to go and see Calander Girls at DMH in town. I love this, it's a tradition that we do every year where we get tickets to go and see something all together. Looking forward to seeing Hannah too, i feel like we need a good catch up even though i've probably got nothing to report and will just end up moaning about men! haha same as always then! Thursday is pay day, and the day i go for drinks with some of the schuh lot! That'll be nice, considering i'll only have one more day at work then i'm off for the week! Yay.
I'm excited, mainly to see everyone that i've not seen in what feels like forever. I've missed my second family, nearly as much as i missed my actual family whilst in Bulg. It's a great excuse to get so drunk for once other people will have to deal with looking after me/buying me shots. Beaut. I can't wait to get my girls back once again, although it's not been long since i last saw them, i have to make the most of this time with them, as after now it might be a long time until they come back home. I think you may have realised i'm VERY excited for next weekend. I just hope people don't start letting me down, i know what people can be like, and things conveniently start popping up to get in the way of the plans i've had for the past 2 months. Hopefully people will prove me wrong!!
Anyway, that's it for now. Much love, here's to my last week of being 20. Since when did i get so old? WHERE has the time gone!!

Valentines tomorrow, i'd like to be able to say i'll be spoilt rotten, get floods of cards/flowers/presents sent to me and told i love you by at least 3 different men...realistically i'll be going out and getting blind* drunk with Sherri and James.

*Blind drunk, hardly...i have 20 pounds to my name. Pre drinking wine at home it is then. One moment while i be sick at the thought...

Oh & this was a rather good random Tuesday night. Mosh with a couple of my favourites. Beautttt.

There's loads of spelling mistakes in that but i can't be bothered to edit them. FORGIVE ME.

HIYAAA

So, i've obviously been rubbish with this blog recently. Sorry people! I can't really use the excuse that i've been busy because i've not really. I suppose i just don't want to bore you all with me going on about how excited i am for the summer and that.
I'm trying to think about the things i've done since i last updated this! I think the most important thing, which by the way i wanted to write about as soon as it happened but couldn't quite get my words out is that i went to visit my lovely cousin a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't really sure what to expect, in my head, all i could imagine is what you see on the films, or tv shows. To be fair, i'm not sure whether it's naive of me to say this, but it wasn't as bad as i had expected. It was quite a friendly atmosphere (as friendly as it could be) and i can't explain how good it was to see him. It's such a peace of mind to finally see that he's doing ok. He's coping, and smiling and seems to be getting along with it as best he can. For the whole hour, i sort of forgot where we were, it was an hour of laughing and smiling and joking about what we're gunna do when he gets out. It hit hard when it came to leaving him. I can't imagine what it's like for kids. Next time i see him, he'll be home, and safe, and free. It really was what i needed. Peace of mind, he's doing ok.
My summer plans are coming along nicely. I'm not going to say alot until things are booked and finalised but all i can say is my summers probably going to be alot better than yours.
I'm back at the gym aswell! I forgot the amazing feel you get after a good hour at the gym. I'm sort of determined to be even slightly more toned, or slimmer for summer. At the minute (as you all know) i'm not at all happy with the way i look. Roll on that summer body that i literally dream of.
Other than the partying like a rock star, i've been working. Still on the slow 15 hour contract. It's starting to get me abit down, i mean not in a crying depressing down, just a sort of, itchy feet, want more hours, but not getting any down. I'm attempting to save and just finding it really hard. I can't save on the best of months so with the bare minimum hours i'm really struggling. I'm hoping to get a bit of money for my birthday however, which i'm determined to put straight into the savings account. I want it to go towards something and not wasted on alcohol, food, or pointless clothes that i don't need. Hopefully my hours will pick up abit, and i'll be able to get some over-time. Anyone need shifts covering you know where i am!
Talking about clothes, i may be completely condradicting what i have just said, but i can't wait to treat myself to a birthday outfit! It's going to be a BIG night, with lots of faces that i love. That's the main thing that i'm looking forward too. having everyone i love in one room. It's not very often that you can make that happen now, is it! I'll have a fair few coming from Sunny Beach, most of which i haven't seen since me and Sherri left in floods of tears at Jacks bar! I'll have the Schuh crew that will always pop along and show their faces, and i'll have the fam, that have been there for every birthday. Not forgetting the bessies Jackie&Lucy, and then there's Sherri who will be doing a hell of a lot of mingling for me!!! It's going to be amazing, and i'm yet to decide where we'll be heading. To be fair, i'm not at all bothered. As long as everyone's happy i'm happy! I'd happily just sit in a pub all night catching up with everyone, but i'm sure after one too many panda pops all i'll wanna do is danceeeeeeee!!
Speaking of 21st birthdays, i went out for Lucys last night which was a really good but surreal night!!! Good in the way i finally managed to get a decent amount of drunk, in the way i danced pretty much ALL night, and in the way i had Jackie there playing wing man at one point. (Although i was almost certain it would be me playing wingman, well done Jackie) Surreal in the way i felt like i had skipped back about 4 years with some of the people that i got re-united with. It was quite nice actually. Although it had been a long while, things were the same. Weirdly. I liked it. But anyway, Lucy had fun, and lots of shots were downed which i guess is the main thing. It was a good night and i felt like i was dying this morning so i guess that's what i was aiming for.

Other updates consist of :-
I'm staying single forever and i want nothing to do with valentines day.
I've decided to online shop more. Coming home from work to find parcels is literally like a little bit of christmas....but on a normal day. (see, i'm well good at saving)
I got my nose re-pierced, it fell out a day later.
I'm going London next month (FINALLY) to see Cortez. I've missed that city and that boy far too much.
I've started shopping for the flat that i'll get one day. I've bought a mug. (It's a start alright!)
Whitney Houston died last night.
We've recently had quite a bit of snow, it's at that annoying stage of ice and slush. What's the point?!

Chao for now.