♥

misfits

i miss nathan.

jus sayin'

10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months. 10 months.

I

went to bed last night thinking that today would be spent doing nothing, lying in bed, watching tv, listening to music, and eating.. Which is all very nice, as it is my day off but i woke up and thought.. what the hell i am doing. I'm gunna try and make today as productive as possible. x

oh hi.

tonight i've been the most bored ever. So, this is me, now. exactly how i look. Hairs growing, thats nice. Cool.

ooohhhhhhh. errrrr, uhmm . weird what you find by accident ._.

One day i'll have a kitchen like this.

♥

Friday, at last.

The lack of sleep these days seems to be having quite an impact on everything. For one, i cry at the most stupid things, such as underage and pregnant (the tv show)? What the hell is that all about. I go every day feeling tired, and come 8 oclock i'm ready for bed. Shame that come about 10 i feel like i could run a marathon. Mornings are the hardest as i find it very difficult to get out of bed having finally dropped off properly at around 3am. It's now Friday and nothing has been resolved according to him. I'm glad i have work, it keeps me busy rather than sitting at home doing nothing, i'm also earning money for the London trip next month. Can't wait. Bring on the best shopping trip. Life still seems to just be plodding along at the minute. Nothing is really happening, and every night i find myself searching through job sites hoping that something perfect pops up. I guess i have a few things to look forward too, so just trying to focus on them. It's not all bad, and i hope this blog doesn't make me sound too depressed, because i'm really not. Most the time i am content. It's just feeling tired all the time really takes it out of you. Best get me a redbull to keep me going through work later. ♥

i wanttttttt

1:26am

and you say you can't sleep. Struggling here too.

i wouldn't mind that much but my room smells of your car.

I'm getting ready to dance the night away with my favourite people.

BYE.

i fucking love you.

she makes me feel about a million times better about everything.

timetimetime

Weird how things change. Change is good though. Zante might not be happening, but i get to spend all next summer with 2 of my best mates. Still a pretty good deal i'd say. Just got to kill some time now... a whole year to be exact. Fuck me. Someone help me find a job, a boy, and some contacts. That would be nice. How am i gunna get through a year without going crazy? You lot get to read along with me i guess. Thats if i don't just run away and join the circus. Oh i don't know whats wrong with me. Being home is such a drag. Hopefully something good will happen soon. Today was lovely. I love how well Sherri understands me. I guess i need more days like today and then before i know it a year has gone and i will be thinking, wow that flew by. I hope so.
Goodnight. x

life goes on.

this isn't fair. cheers thanks. take me back to sunny beach because it seems theres nothing here for me now.



♥ ♥ ♥

blahhh

take me here.

take me here.

take me here.

take me here.

take me here.

it cant be fixed.

still not feeling it.

p.s

you seem distant.

saturday hangover.

Last night was brilliant. Made it through the night without hearing we no speak americano, got to see Lucy, and do shots with her, play pool, have a dance.. pretty good staff night out. No managers either. Always a bonus. Somehow ended up in fanclub after sherri was apparently too drunk to get in mosh. how?! She wasn't even that wasted. Think the bouncers were just being twats. I'm not really into blogging at the minute. Lifes just plodding by. Pretty boring, with nothing of interest to write about.

Sometimes i quite like not having a phone. I can go anywhere and nobody could find me. Not very practical and after a week without one i am starting to miss it, but still.

home sweet home? no.

So i'm well and truley home now. Being back work sort of makes it all real again, pops the bubble you have been living in the past week and a bit where you think its perfectly acceptable to do anything you want. Literally. First day back went quick i guess, and i suppose it was quite nice to get out the house. But oh my god, it depressed me. Listening to David Guetta on the bus genuinely quite upset me! I just couldn't stop thinking about where i was, and where i could be. I could be walking up and down in the sunshine, talking to people all day, meeting new people and having the best time. I don't think that could ever get boring. What the hell am i doing in schuh. Argh. It literally annoys me so much. ANYWAY, it was nice to see the boy again though. Probably the only reason i'm glad to be back. I also enjoy the fact my bedroom now smells of his car. A weird but comforting smell actually. I don't really have an awful lot to say today. Other than i'm missing sunny beach. Think its about time i got my head round these videos though, they need some serious editing. Anyone got any tips for editing videos? would be much appreciated! x

qwsdgfvdfdfgvdgdfgdfg

i dont even know when you're backkkk. If you're not already come home soon. cheers thanks.

sunny beach 2010.

I'm finally feeling human again after a horrible 2 days feeling that i'm going to die. Today has been alot better, and i can finally eat and drink without my throat hurting. Also nice to be able to do the simple task of swallowing. I'm gunna put it out there, it was worth it all. Last week was amazing and now, having just about recovered i'm finally missing waking up too the sight of the pool and arnie, and sometimes.. the maids. There wasn't a moment when i wanted to come home (except at the airport in burgas) and i think as a whole, we can clearly say that we made plenty of mates. I really couldn't go into full detail about everything that happened. Surely that would break the whole 'what happens in sunny beach stays in sunny beach' thing. So i'll just give you a rough idea. Most likely enough if you're reading this, you came on holiday with me (jackie) or, if you are close to me you will most likely get a much better version of this when i eventually see you. If i don't know you, that's too bad. You should know me, or you can just see the photos from further down my blog to get a slight idea. Anyway, so when we first arrived it was clear that we we're in for a messy one. With a pool bar, a sign that said 'buy one get one free cocktails', and 5 stupidly tanned good looking guys dancing on the bar, jackie couldn't help but say 'hey we found our potential mates' to which i thought she said 'we found our future mates' all the same really, as 2 minutes later, having put our cases in room E8 we we're being thrown in the pool almost fully clothed. I wouldn't have minded, but i lost both my cocktails, lost an earring, broke my sunglasses, and had my towel thrown in the pool all within the space of 10 seconds. I guess it was a welcome to remember. Shame these beautiful people didn't say another word to us throughout the whole of the week. Although there were five of them, we only managed to name 2. One being Arnie, as he looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and dancing boy, as he danced... Alot. That night we went out for food, and had a lot more cocktails, and discovered that cocktails are made twice as strong over there. Killer. But oh so worth the money. As the week went on, we became familiar with alot of faces along the main 'strip' which was actually called flower street. 'Party crew' known for their orange and black vests, caught our interest from the start as we managed to blag our way onto a bar crawl full of men. Somehow, i don't know how, but we got our way into a club called ice berg for free when it should have cost us 20 Lev. About 9 quid. This was the night we met Will. Our Irish ... friend.
We managed to make it out everynight, and i enjoyed alot how 2 nights me jackie and lucy did the walk of shame back all together. Laughing and joking about the previous night sipping a massive bottle of water. Other nights included another bar crawl in which we decided to actually pay for, we ended up with tshirts that said 'lets go fucking mental' on. Classy eh. That night was good, plenty of free drinks,big red bus journeys, dancing on bars, meeting fat boy, meeting Jack, and Will. Ending up in Revolution, a sort of underground club. Another night we went to a foam party, which really wasn't a foam party after wearing bikinis, lack of make up and making sure the camera didn't get wet by putting it in a plastic bag. Slightly dissapointing as we put all our faith into the guy that looked like Danny from Mcfly. For only 5 Lev though we couldnt complain, which is about 2 quid. A funny night, as we did end up in the club swimming pool, and this was when we met Steve. Steve managed to become quite good mates with us which resulted in him coming on another night out with us, (on his own) and also we met up with him the next day in the main town. Some might say that was slightly weird but oh well. Me and Lucy loved him. We managed to blag cheaper entry into Revolution one night as it was a cream night. Some pretty good music, and i met Jack again, along with his 4 other rather rowdy and pretty mental LANDAN mates. They honestly couldn't be more cockney if they tried, and they didn't even think they we're. After nights out it was pretty standard to be walking home and it to be light, it was probably the 4th night when it clicked that my body clock would be pretty messed up when i got home. Oh well. Another night in Ice berg, and i danced with a guy dressed as a chicken. Pretty surreal at the time i must say. That was a good night. Jackie knows why. We started most of our nights in 'viking bar' which was a sort of beach bar without sand (it went out onto the beach), Jackie and Lucy fancied the rep and we got free shots of this really nice caramel shit, we also had good music and it seemed a good place to meet people you had met before (sometimes not always a good thing).
During the day time, we would usually eat bread, and sleep, and lie by the pool. Lying by the pool made it quite difficult when it was raining, and rain is what it did for the last few days of our holiday. Boo. We pretty much only left the hotel to go shop, but one day we did go visit nessebar, which is an old city of ruins and markets and cobbled streets. The sort of place you go with your family (i went 2 years ago with mine). We sat in a tiny cafe, and watched as it began to rain once again. We also went to the beach one day when it started raining, but it later got hot and we found the perfect little beach bar called 'playa', lovely, i know. But seriously, it was really nice, with big bean bags, and chillin music i could have stayed there all day. On the last night we all agreed to go for a quiet meal and head back as our flight was at 5am in the morning. The quiet meal ended up with us meeting steve, going viking bar and having alot of cocktails to say bye to the holiday. Me and Jackie went home before everyone else, telling them to be back before 4. This didnt happen, and in attempt to get everyones belongings sorted and packed i managed to leave my own phone on the bed whilst we piled 3 very drunk people onto the coach which was so nearly about to leave. So so pissed off. But not much i can do now, we all do stupid things i guess. Just miss my phone! Like i said aswell, worth it. The flight home was horrible. I didn't manage to get any sleep at all and i was aching all over. Like i said, i've only just came round and i'm feeling slightly normal. Apparently a mix between stress, anxiety, dehydration, sun stroke, and general drinking. Nice. I'm so sorry body. I promise not to drink for at least 2 weeks. Good times? Oh yes.

the best week.

I'm feeling too ill to go into proper detail about it yet, so theres just some of the photos from the best week i have ever had. 'Let's go fucking mental' done.