A short story.

There once was a happy household devistated by the loss of one member, that member was the family dog. Loved and happy for 9 years.
The family would never ever replace the dog, it was impossible.
One day the mother and daughter decided to 'take a look' at the dogs and cats at the R.C.P.C.A with no intentions of getting another dog.
Before they could properly even think about what they were doing, they seemed to find themselfs in love with and walking a beautiful cocker spaniel 11 month dog.
Decisions were very torn between the family, some wanted him, some didn't.
A week later, the family went to collect their perfect new dog. Happy.
The dog was so happy in his new home, the family were so happy with the new member.
The house seemed complete to begin with.
As the night went on, certains things started to crack the perfect image of the dog, he had a nasty side and the family had no control.
It broke the familys heart to see the dog they had bought and loved turn into something they had never seen before. This dog wasn't welcome, he ruined his stay, and he hurt the family physically, and mentally.
It was a hard choice to make and the family didn't feel safe anymore in the home.
The hard thing was that the dog was perfect 95% of the time.
His eyes told his mood instantly.
3 Days later the family took the dog back to the kennels, utterly heartbroken at the situation. Their perfect dog, they had fallen in love with since day 1, couldn't stay.
The manager at the rescue center explained that the dog had never been sold and rehomed, explained that the family had done nothing wrong by this dog, and that they should have been given the right paper work explaining the dogs problems.
The family left him, with nothing but a lead and collar. They drove home still upset, and returned to a home that felt empty, cold and quiet, once again.

Billy.

What a difference a day can make. My mood is 100% better already all thanks to a little phone call about an interview!! Yay, i won't say much about it..don't want to get a head of myself or get my hopes up but thought i'd let you all know! :) Something to focus on for the next week anyway, POSITIVE THINKING CAP ON!!
In other news. It's kinda a long story but we seem to have bought a new dog. Something that has not been an easy decision or choice to make. There's no way we even planned to have another dog this soon after Spud. Somehow though, it just feels right that we're having him. I guess the house feels more complete with a dog. I don't think it's something that non dog owners would understand. My emotions with Spud are up and down all the time. I miss him SO much you can't even begin to imagine. Whatever people say about time healing, it's a load of shit. I miss him more and more everyday. i still cry..every...fucking...day. That aside, having another dog will help the healing process massivly. I think, as a family we all need it. We won't be replacing Spud, impossible. I think Spud would have liked this new pup anyway. He comes home on Thursday and i can't wait! He's ours, and from the moment we met him at the R.S.P.C.A i knew he was. Hurry up Thursday, i want Billy home! (I'll upload some photo's when he's home!)
A trip to Tunbridge Wells will be happening in a couple of weeks too. I can't wait to see McLovin and Rome! It's for a couple of birthdays, so lots of drinks will be had! I've not actually drank since about 3 weeks ago so by then it will be a good month or so dry of no alcohol! I'll have 1 wine and be on the floor or something. God help me. Sherri is coming round in the week to get it all booked and have a good catch up. Me not working at Schuh kinda sucks now not getting to see her everyday. Especially after living and working with her ALL day EVERY day over summer!
See, my good mood has once returned. With a little help from the Billy Elliot soundtrack, one small phonecall, one very lively dog, and plans to visit some very lovely people. Yeah, happy days!! Let's hope it stays for good. October be good to me!

I dunno what it is, coming back and still not being able to find a job has sort of knocked my good mood. my positive thinking isn't so positive and i guess hanging around home while everyones at work can get quite lonely. I miss even having the dog to talk too.
I don't wanna be left behind, it probably doesn't make sense but i know what i mean. I feel like everyones moving forward and i'm just stuck. I guess i didn't really plan my escape for what i'd do if i was in this situation and now i'm feeling abit lost! I've never not been in work since i was 15 so this is quite strange. Depending on other people is not in my nature and i certainly don't know how people can do this out of choice! I'm bored to death, i want more money, and i want something new.
I guess i just need to keep waiting. In the mean time i'll just be doing my work out dvd, watching 2 broke girls, applying for jobs i probably can't do and drinking tea.

Massive sigh!!

Sorting my life out feels so good, i'm jobless and feel really useless right now which isn't helping but thinking positive is key!
This time in 2 weeks i'll hopefully have heard back from a job and have an interview.
This time in 2 months i would have a job and be doing all that christmas shopping that i can't wait to get started on. I'll also have started driving lessons.
This time in 5 months i'll be still enjoying my change in job.
This time in a year i hope to be on the road, earning my own money and looking into booking a nice get away for a few weeks. Thailand please ♥

Along the way i hope to have lots of fun, meet up with lots of the sunny beach lot, and get drunk lots of times.
This is my plan of action...very unlike me, i hate planning. Let's see how it goes.

Love love love

I've always said that no matter how shit i'm feeling, there's always something that makes me feel better. That something being the most beautiful four men that come in form of Mumford & Sons. It sounds abit cringy, but i'm pretty sure they are the answer to everything. Obviously the album Sigh No More has been rinsed for all it's got, EASILY having the most plays out of everything on my I Tunes, so when they released their new album yesterday i jumped at the chance to download it.
It is SO beautiful, i didn't think that they could out do their first work of art but somehow this one had grabbed me just as much, maybe more. I'm still only half way through it, and i already felt the need to blog about it. Must be something special ay! Mumford & Sons i. love. you. You came at just the right time.

Album on repeat forever more. ♥

I'm still missing you. The house feels so empty.

I've been home a week now and i'm still lovin every minute. My own bed, bloody amazing!!! It's been so good to catch up with everyone too. I've spent the last 5 months with some of the most amazing and interesting people, but when it comes down to it, you can't beat a catch up with your bestest friends. Seeing Jackie & Lucy made my week, i don't think i quite realised how much i missed them. ♥
Seeing Hannah, and spending some time with Schuh and Alex also has been a highlight of my week. Not much has changed since i went, other than some rather funny stories from the schuh lot, i don't think i've missed much, which is how i like it :)
I got to catch up with Richard, Rachel and their beautful little girl Charlotte. I'm so happy for them and it's so nice to see such a perfect happy family. I can't wait to see her grow up and spoil her lots! They also gave me alot to think about on the 'future card' which has made an idea that was once just an idea seem quite achievable. They both have certainly gave me lots to think about.
I'm liking being home, even if i am still unemployed and have no money...yeah i'm happy.

Yeah, i'm home and the only thing i want isn't here. The only thing i really missed all summer isn't here. My one favourite thing has gone and i'm really not sure how i'm even meant to cope with this. Sunny Beach took my mind off the whole thing, and now i'm home everything seems real. I fucking miss my dog so much. Spuddy i love you so much, and i hope you know that i'll never forget you.

I'm back again, that's 2 years in a row and i think it's safe to say i've done my time in Sunny Beach. This season was amazing, i had my ups and downs but i've learnt alot, once again. I've met some friends for life, had some of the BEST days and nights, seen some world famous djs, drank more than you can imagine, danced more than you can imagine, and laughed so much my insides hurt. I might have worked abit too, and slept a small bit, but that don't count.

Sunny Beach, you've been good to me...i'll see you again one day..just not to soon, i'm glad to be home.