My minds going crazy over you.

So, everythings near to perfect these days. I've been with BHF for nearly 2 months now and still loving every minute. It's hard work, there's alot to think about all the time, but still..i'm enjoying it that way. I'm being pushed in ways i've never been pushed before, i feel like i'm growing up so fast, and i know how stupid that sounds but sometimes i still struggle to believe that i have got a job as important as this. I guess they seen potential in me or something, I'm here for a reason, whatever that might be.

I'm pleased to announce that we have a new member of the family arriving in just under 2 weeks time. Sid is a long haired German Shepard puppy who is currently only 5 weeks old. I can't even express how excited we all are. I don't think i've ever seen my mum like this. She's alive again, we all are. It feels right. All the reasons not to get another dog do not out weigh all the good reasons to get a dog. This is for the best, and also a rather cute addition that will fit into our loving home just perfectly over christmas. Roll on Saturday 15th.. where..i'll be working. I'm pretty sure that day will be the longest day EVER, and i'll practically be running home!

I've had a few days off work this week which has been nice and quite refreshing. I never knew how much working full time would tire me out. I just wanna sleep all day and all night. The lie ins have been good and i spent a couple of the days up in Liverpool with my favourite girl Jackie. It was lovely to finally go visit as i've been meaning to for so long. When i got the time off from work, i couldn't not. It was a lovely couple of days and we spent most of it laughing, shopping, sleeping and eating. My favouite type of activities. It was so lovely to visit my friend and i can't wait to have her home for christmas.

 I suppose, on paper i have lots and lots of friends, friends from all corners of the world. I love this, it means i've gotta bed anywhere i want if i wanna get away. Truth is, that's all good and well if i have the time and money to go and visit these places. I haven't got a lot of friends at home and to be honest, i don't really mind. The handful that i do have are well and truley my best friends. I guess that i know no matter where i go, how far or how near, or whatever i do, who i'm with, how much time, or money, they'll still be there; being normal, and there..for me. I guess as you get older and the people come and go, either with valid reasoning, or shit excuses you come to see who really matters. I suppose i've realised this all in the past 2 months. Yeah, i got a new job, i've done alot of growing up, things have been made clearer whilst other things have had my mind going round and round and round and round until it's driven me crazy. There's only so much thinking, only so much doing until one day..i'll stop. Alots changed recently and i'm thankful of everyone that's been there for me, even through the little phonecalls, the texts, or the good luck cards. Jackie, has done more for me in this past 2 months than she'll ever know. Just generally being there, on the end of a phone..or whatever. I know she'll be reading, so..just know that i love you and i miss you and hurry up home for christmas. I'm pretty sure we're due another food challange asap.


My life's pretty much perfect. I feel very blessed to be so lucky, and these days i wake up happy. Christmas is upon us, my favourite time of year. Things can only get better.

 A good day at work, a suitcase full of vintage knitware, amazing!!

 Me & Jacks being pretty happy about something.

 This is me before me Jackie and Lucy went on a nightout in Leicester, oh what a night!

 My beautiful two boys, Spud would have loved Sid.

 Me sipping hotchocolate in Central Perk, Liverpool! Fancy.

 14 Days until he's home!

Me and Lucy.

Hellllo!

I'm so sorry i haven't done a blog in ages, i've been so busy this past 5 weeks you wouldn't even believe it!

So much has changed recently i'm struggling to keep up myself.
I've managed to get my perfect job, and plans and ideas of mine that i've always wanted to persue seem almost do-able. Crazy.

As this stage of my life has changed for the better it seems some other situations have changed too. I'm  not sure how to deal with these changes as most of it is completely out of my hands and their is physically nothing more i can do to help. One day i'll get bored and give up on making the effort, at least i can say i tried. Hopefully that day won't come and things will be back to normal. I do wish this everyday.

So, i'm slowly changing my life and starting to grow up. Some people might see this as highly boring and i know alot of people have been asking if i'm going to work another season abroad. As much fun as i had, and as tempting it is, i feel like i have found my reasoning for being here. It sounds so stupid, and cheesy, but i have found my fresh start and i'm loving it.

Having applied for this job with no great expectations i was shocked enough as it was to find i had an interview never mind had the job!! I'm now assistant manager at British Heart Foundation and loving every minute!! I've completed 4 weeks of intense training at the Derby store and along the way met some of the most amazing people that dedicate their time volunteering and helping the paid staff out massivly. The stories i've come across have been incredible, and it puts life into perspective when a 93 year old man brings in the clothes of his late wife who he had been married to since he was 18. #LifesTooShort and all that. Enjoy it while you can, and that's what i'm trying to do.

As much as i'll miss the team at Derby, i'm looking forward to getting started at my own shop, and putting everything i've learnt and the tips i've picked up along the way into good use. I can't wait to build up my family, formed from all different people, volunteering for all different stories and reasons.

Christmas is on it's way and i haven't even started my shopping, i'm excited for christmas and going through a phase of constantly listening to Xmas songs on the train. I feel like i'm in Love Actually or something as i see people running through the station and meeting loved ones at the other end. Jealously kicks in right at that moment haha!

Saturday night will be my first night out in Leicester in 8 weeks. Not only will i be dancing the night away until my feet can't take no more, but i'll be doing it all with my favourite 2 girls!! It will be so good to see Jackie and Lucy again, especially because i haven't been on a night out with them well before i went to Bulgaria!! I know that it's gunna be an amazing night and that we're gunna have so many giggles. It's been too long, and this couldn't have happened at a better time. I needed them home, even just for one night. ♥

So that's my quick update so far, sorry it's only brief. Working all these proper hours has tired me out! 12 hour days = bed for 10 every single night! Haha, it won't be so long next time, promise!! Lots of Love xxxx

A short story.

There once was a happy household devistated by the loss of one member, that member was the family dog. Loved and happy for 9 years.
The family would never ever replace the dog, it was impossible.
One day the mother and daughter decided to 'take a look' at the dogs and cats at the R.C.P.C.A with no intentions of getting another dog.
Before they could properly even think about what they were doing, they seemed to find themselfs in love with and walking a beautiful cocker spaniel 11 month dog.
Decisions were very torn between the family, some wanted him, some didn't.
A week later, the family went to collect their perfect new dog. Happy.
The dog was so happy in his new home, the family were so happy with the new member.
The house seemed complete to begin with.
As the night went on, certains things started to crack the perfect image of the dog, he had a nasty side and the family had no control.
It broke the familys heart to see the dog they had bought and loved turn into something they had never seen before. This dog wasn't welcome, he ruined his stay, and he hurt the family physically, and mentally.
It was a hard choice to make and the family didn't feel safe anymore in the home.
The hard thing was that the dog was perfect 95% of the time.
His eyes told his mood instantly.
3 Days later the family took the dog back to the kennels, utterly heartbroken at the situation. Their perfect dog, they had fallen in love with since day 1, couldn't stay.
The manager at the rescue center explained that the dog had never been sold and rehomed, explained that the family had done nothing wrong by this dog, and that they should have been given the right paper work explaining the dogs problems.
The family left him, with nothing but a lead and collar. They drove home still upset, and returned to a home that felt empty, cold and quiet, once again.

Billy.

What a difference a day can make. My mood is 100% better already all thanks to a little phone call about an interview!! Yay, i won't say much about it..don't want to get a head of myself or get my hopes up but thought i'd let you all know! :) Something to focus on for the next week anyway, POSITIVE THINKING CAP ON!!
In other news. It's kinda a long story but we seem to have bought a new dog. Something that has not been an easy decision or choice to make. There's no way we even planned to have another dog this soon after Spud. Somehow though, it just feels right that we're having him. I guess the house feels more complete with a dog. I don't think it's something that non dog owners would understand. My emotions with Spud are up and down all the time. I miss him SO much you can't even begin to imagine. Whatever people say about time healing, it's a load of shit. I miss him more and more everyday. i still cry..every...fucking...day. That aside, having another dog will help the healing process massivly. I think, as a family we all need it. We won't be replacing Spud, impossible. I think Spud would have liked this new pup anyway. He comes home on Thursday and i can't wait! He's ours, and from the moment we met him at the R.S.P.C.A i knew he was. Hurry up Thursday, i want Billy home! (I'll upload some photo's when he's home!)
A trip to Tunbridge Wells will be happening in a couple of weeks too. I can't wait to see McLovin and Rome! It's for a couple of birthdays, so lots of drinks will be had! I've not actually drank since about 3 weeks ago so by then it will be a good month or so dry of no alcohol! I'll have 1 wine and be on the floor or something. God help me. Sherri is coming round in the week to get it all booked and have a good catch up. Me not working at Schuh kinda sucks now not getting to see her everyday. Especially after living and working with her ALL day EVERY day over summer!
See, my good mood has once returned. With a little help from the Billy Elliot soundtrack, one small phonecall, one very lively dog, and plans to visit some very lovely people. Yeah, happy days!! Let's hope it stays for good. October be good to me!

I dunno what it is, coming back and still not being able to find a job has sort of knocked my good mood. my positive thinking isn't so positive and i guess hanging around home while everyones at work can get quite lonely. I miss even having the dog to talk too.
I don't wanna be left behind, it probably doesn't make sense but i know what i mean. I feel like everyones moving forward and i'm just stuck. I guess i didn't really plan my escape for what i'd do if i was in this situation and now i'm feeling abit lost! I've never not been in work since i was 15 so this is quite strange. Depending on other people is not in my nature and i certainly don't know how people can do this out of choice! I'm bored to death, i want more money, and i want something new.
I guess i just need to keep waiting. In the mean time i'll just be doing my work out dvd, watching 2 broke girls, applying for jobs i probably can't do and drinking tea.

Massive sigh!!

Sorting my life out feels so good, i'm jobless and feel really useless right now which isn't helping but thinking positive is key!
This time in 2 weeks i'll hopefully have heard back from a job and have an interview.
This time in 2 months i would have a job and be doing all that christmas shopping that i can't wait to get started on. I'll also have started driving lessons.
This time in 5 months i'll be still enjoying my change in job.
This time in a year i hope to be on the road, earning my own money and looking into booking a nice get away for a few weeks. Thailand please ♥

Along the way i hope to have lots of fun, meet up with lots of the sunny beach lot, and get drunk lots of times.
This is my plan of action...very unlike me, i hate planning. Let's see how it goes.

Love love love

I've always said that no matter how shit i'm feeling, there's always something that makes me feel better. That something being the most beautiful four men that come in form of Mumford & Sons. It sounds abit cringy, but i'm pretty sure they are the answer to everything. Obviously the album Sigh No More has been rinsed for all it's got, EASILY having the most plays out of everything on my I Tunes, so when they released their new album yesterday i jumped at the chance to download it.
It is SO beautiful, i didn't think that they could out do their first work of art but somehow this one had grabbed me just as much, maybe more. I'm still only half way through it, and i already felt the need to blog about it. Must be something special ay! Mumford & Sons i. love. you. You came at just the right time.

Album on repeat forever more. ♥

I'm still missing you. The house feels so empty.

I've been home a week now and i'm still lovin every minute. My own bed, bloody amazing!!! It's been so good to catch up with everyone too. I've spent the last 5 months with some of the most amazing and interesting people, but when it comes down to it, you can't beat a catch up with your bestest friends. Seeing Jackie & Lucy made my week, i don't think i quite realised how much i missed them. ♥
Seeing Hannah, and spending some time with Schuh and Alex also has been a highlight of my week. Not much has changed since i went, other than some rather funny stories from the schuh lot, i don't think i've missed much, which is how i like it :)
I got to catch up with Richard, Rachel and their beautful little girl Charlotte. I'm so happy for them and it's so nice to see such a perfect happy family. I can't wait to see her grow up and spoil her lots! They also gave me alot to think about on the 'future card' which has made an idea that was once just an idea seem quite achievable. They both have certainly gave me lots to think about.
I'm liking being home, even if i am still unemployed and have no money...yeah i'm happy.